


she sighs at the request, he cringes at the name

by istubbedmytoe



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Short, Trans Character, blurry is good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 08:11:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14397915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/istubbedmytoe/pseuds/istubbedmytoe
Summary: it was probably just a phase.it’s not a fucking phase.every girl wishes they could be a boy at some point in their life.at some point, sure. but their entire life?it’s fine.i’m fine.-in which tyler is second guessing himself.





	she sighs at the request, he cringes at the name

**Author's Note:**

> the formatting is very weird, basically it's like blurry is trying to help tyler accept himself and be happy, but "tatiana" feels like its a phase or that she cant be a boy  
> tatiana/tyler is regular font  
> tyler/blurry is italics
> 
> hang in there  
> sorry if its confusing

~~he~~ ~~she~~ they looked in the mirror. didnt like what ~~he~~ ~~she~~ they saw. breasts. _boxers._  brown hair. _short how you always wanted it._ ribs. _scars_. skinny. _too skinny._ skinny is better than curvy.  _how about some muscles?_ girl. _boy._ ~~he~~   ~~she~~  they sighed, "what am i?"

it was probably just a phase.  _it's not a fucking phase._ every girl wishes they could be a boy at some point in their life.  _at some point, sure. but their entire life?_ it's fine. i'm fine.

 ~~he~~   ~~she~~  they went to the closet. dresses.  _hoodies._ skirts.  _that's a nice button up._ the tank top is too revealing.  _with or without the binder?_ skinny jeans.  _what about the black baggy jeans. won't show the boxer lines._ yellow hoodie.  _put your binder on._ binder. black vans. mirror. better.

"tatiana! come downstairs!" she sighed at the request. _he cringed at the name._

"darling it's so nice out today, why don't you wear that lovely sundress i bought you?"

 ~~he~~   ~~she~~  they glared at the perky lady referred to as "mother".  _please no, not today._

"sorry, i'm going to be late."  ~~he~~   ~~she~~  they slipped out the door before mother, god forbid, offered to drive to school.

_you're swaying your hips. boys don't sway their hips. stand up straight. focus, tyler._

"hey!" 

 ~~he~~   ~~she~~  they are caught off guard by josh.  _josh!_  beautiful, flawless, _masculine_ , josh.  _josh came out of the closet. look how happy josh is._

"hi josh."

josh quirks an eyebrow. "are you feeling okay? you seem a bit lost in there." josh taps the side of ~~his~~   ~~her~~  their head.

"josh, it's happening again."

josh gets the look on his face, the pity look.  _it's not pity, it's understanding. he knows what you're going through._ josh takes ~~his~~ ~~her~~ their hand and leads them to the utility closet. the sanctuary. 

"tyler?"

_stop crying._

"tyler, it's okay. tell me what you're thinking."

"josh, what if it's a phase. like the emo phase last year. what if it's like that?"

"ty, i really doubt it's a phase. you said you've felt this your whole life, right? and even if you hadn't, that doesn't make it any less real. you're a boy. i can see how much better you've felt since trying to pass, and i'm so proud of you. and even if it is a phase, it's okay. there's nothing wrong with taking a little while to find out who you are. come here," he grabbed tyler by the arm, pulling until they were both in front of the mirror. "tell me what you see."

 _blotchy red from crying._ pathetic.  _hurting._ boy?  _boy._

"i'm a boy."

"yes, tyler. you're a boy."

 ~~she~~ he smiled weakly. "thank you josh."

for the rest of the day, he was okay. he was going to be okay.


End file.
